Wednesday 18 March 2009

Another trip on the emotional rollercoaster

Here I am again.  Which sadly means I am at a dip, not a peak on my rollercoaster.  One day I hope to come on here and post when life is treating me well, but for now I only seem to come here when I need to offload...

A quick recap on the nightmare at work.  I got bullied, my managers tried to deal with it informally.  This didn't work - staff involved didn't like being told off so turned the whole thing completely on it's head in August and submitted a formal complaint against me, and my managers. They accused us of the very behaviour they had displayed against me. It really was very surreal, and extremely stressful. I ended up having to move myself into another section for a while as I couldn't face sitting with these people any longer. I got through it though, and the result was as I would have expected - me and my managers had done absolutely nothing wrong. Yet again it came out that some of my team had been intimidatory towards me. The result of THEIR complaint was they were to be split up and moved to other, identical, teams in the organisation so I wouldn't have to work with them any more. That was in mid November...

They've all been off work since then - and have been protesting, and making all kinds of demands. Meanwhile those of us who have remained at work have, tentatively, built up good working relationships again. However, now they are approaching half pay (and their gps seemed to have wised up to their protest!) their tactics have changed and I've found out today they might be coming back in a couple of weeks. But to the same office as me. Seems my employer has no backbone and they are now going to sweep it all under the carpet, as if it never happened.

In the meantime, I've already made a lot of sacrifices. I sat in another office while the investigation went on so felt very displaced at work, and I've recently negotiated a temporary reduction in my hours as a reasonable adjustment under the DDA (this situation really has taken a toll on my health). 

Onto health matters, I've now had it confirmed my cancer treatment has put me through early menopause (I'm in my thirties, so it's definitely early!) and I'm struggling a bit getting my head round that.  I've actually had to take a couple of days off work this week, because I've been feeling really under the weather physically and emotionally. Not sure if I've picked up a virus, I'm just completely run down or my body is protesting at the change from Tamoxifen to Aromasin. I just feel terrible and want to sleep all the time.

So, basically I'm just feeling sorry for myself and needed to write it down somewhere. This seemed like the place to do it. Maybe now I have offloaded I will be able to consider my options now, cos I don't really know what I'm going to do next
 :?