Another chapter over.

I've had my final counselling session today. I thought it would be, although now I know it has finished I feel a bit odd, and a bit emotional really...

We started off reviewing the last couple of weeks. I'd been quite down when I ended up with that bug last week. It hit me on the anniversary of my diagnosis so I was quite upset about that (cos I felt so crap anyway), and in all honesty the fact I managed 11 months but not quite 12 months without any sickness really annoyed me (that's me being harsh on myself again!). Plus, there was an article in the local paper about the fashion show that mentioned that 4 of the women have died since last year (I knew that already), that I read when I felt awful anyway... But, I managed to pick myself back up when I stopped feeling so ill (and when I could talk again - 2 days with no voice is not good for me!!) rather than dwelling on it for ages.

So, today was all about closure and how far I have come. We've chatted about all the things I was struggling with, and all the things I have overcome. We've also chatted about where I am at now, the person I think I am now (I'm not half as hard on myself as I was!), and where I see myself going. We have come up with some ideas/suggestions to keep me on the straight and narrow and, perhaps more importantly for me how I can recognise the signs if I start to go downhill again (like when everyone and everything starts to piss me off!!, or when I stop answering the phone, make excuses not to socialise etc).

We also discussed all the resources I have around me to make sure I feel supported in the future (including her - I had to promise I'd go back if things go wrong!). And, we also went over my own transformation over the last however long it has been, and how I am now living very much in the present and not the past like I was, and how my attitude to my illness and the affect it had on my life has changed. I'm almost there with the looking into the future thing (well, I've almost booked another holiday and that is as good as it gets for now).

So, that's it! Well, that's this bit over with anyway... I'm going to keep writing my blog cos that seems to help (she really likes the idea of that).