Today I have been tired and grumpy again. Work got on my nerves, and I felt like crying a couple of times (which I would HATE to do, I rarely cry in public). I was so glad when it was hometime.
My hospital buddy texted me earlier to tell me she was off to the hospital cos she has some swelling in her neck. She's really worried about it. I must get in touch with her again tomorrow to see how she got on. F***in disease.
I've been round to my best mates house for tea tonight. Did I tell her how down I am feeling? Did I chuff, I put my shiny happy smiley face on and pretended everything was ok. Why do I do that? She's been my mate for 28 years so why do I feel like I have to protect her from the dark side of all this. I did tell her about the lady who has died, and she had a horrible look of fear in her eyes as I told her. I hate the affect all this shite has on my friends and family as well.
Oh, I'm really sick of myself now. My face has started leaking again.
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