Ouch

I had my mammogram today. Not a pleasant experience! If you have never had one - just imagine having your boob squashed in a vice and you will have a pretty good idea of what it is like! Ouchy ouchy ouch.

I have to confess to feeling a bit wobbly today. I decided to go on the bus (avoid the car park!) but that didn't work cos I still had to walk through it. Durr!! I felt sick as I walked into the hospital, I don't have good memories of that place. I feel I need to explain a bit here... the hospital where I go for my mammos is a different one to where I had my ops and treatment, but it's the one where I was diagnosed. So I have only been back there twice since diagnosis and it just feels so, erm...horrible there.

The mammo itself was ok I suppose, I get the results "sometime in the next 3 weeks", so back to the waiting game again. I don't mean this in a cruel way, but people I know who haven't had cancer don't really get what waiting for results feel like for me. I try and explain to friends how I feel, but they don't get it really. They mean well when they say the things they do but I just don't think they understand the turmoil I go through. I guess having a friend affected by cancer when you are still pretty young is hard though...

I digress...back to today. I had to strip off to the waist and then sit in a waiting room in a lovely hospital gown. This is a horrible experience when you only have one boob. I felt really self conscious. By now I am feeling quite emotional too. The radio was on, and Daniel Powter - "Bad Day" came on. How apt! Managed not to cry in public though, so was quite pleased about that!

Then I got called through and the radiographer was really lovely, a really bubbly person and she put me at ease. Well as much as possible! What a strange job that must be, squashing people's boobs all day!

Back into the waiting room then, while they check the films (to make sure they have got a good enough "picture"). Must have been ok cos I was then told I could go.

So, I am now going to dread the arrival of the NHS envelope for the next 3 weeks... Is it possible to keep everything crossed for 3 weeks I wonder?