Life Coaching - session 2

A little late... Here’s an update on last Monday's session – more useful tips coming right up…!

We talked about how the brain works, and how you can train it to work differently (there is a fancy name for this - neuro linguistic programming I think!). It’s all to do with the things in your subconscious mind and how “normally” you can keep a lid on the more negative things. However, when you feel depressed or stressed this becomes more difficult. She said to think of my mind like a large cardboard box (I laughed in my subconscious mind then – my mind does often feel like an empty box!). Inside that box is a tube of toothpaste, the negative thoughts. When things are going well, the toothpaste just rattles around in there. When things are going bad – the box gets crushed and out squirts all the toothpaste.

Still with me? So, onto what happens when the toothpaste is squirting all over the place…

80% of the thoughts you have are down to what you “hear”. Things people say, do, the tone used, body language and your perception of this. You take in the negative things, and as she quite rightly said you don’t lay in bed at night remembering the positive things people said to you that day…! This is how your mind works (especially in Britain, we “like” to be negative). It dismisses the good and dwells on the bad if you let it. This in turn affects your subconscious mind. Vicious circle coming right up… When your subconscious mind is getting overwhelmed with all this negativity it affects your feelings, your body language, behaviour etc and makes you feel depressed. So you take in more of the negative thoughts, and go back to the beginning all over again…

So, now time for some brain training! I had to think of some negative/limiting beliefs I have. I won’t fill up my blog with it all, but here is an example of one of them:

I believe that people don’t like me and I have lost my self confidence (in myself and my abilities). This has come from the situation at work. This has already had negative consequences – stress and time off work. If I don’t do anything to change it, I will lose my sanity and possibly my job as I won’t feel I can continue.

So – time to kick the old grey matter into touch and turn it around. New way to look at it is:

My old belief that people don’t like me is rubbish. I now believe I’m liked and loved by the people who matter to me. The situation at work says everything about them and nothing about me.

Same situation, different outlook/belief.

I’ve got to think these kinds of thought all the time now – to train my brain into reacting in a more positive way. I even have to consciously change my body language to stop any negative beliefs. She said she was taught to put her finger up her nose when she started to think of things in a negative way (!) but thought that was a bit odd. I have a new technique though which I like a lot.

Bit of “science”… currently in my stressed/depressed state I have a motorway to bad thoughts in my mind. It’s the quickest and easiest route so why would my brain go anywhere different? I need to put up a diversion! Apparently it takes about 10,000 attempts to do this! She said that would probably take about a fortnight, cos the mind does a lot of thinking in that time! I think I have clocked up a few hundred already today so maybe I will come off a junction early already!

I think that pretty much sums up this week’s installment. Next week is SUMO. I thought “Oh my god – what will I have to wear!!”. Apparently it stands for Shut Up Move On. I can’t wait for that!

I now really think just by changing the way I react to all this will help find a solution to it all. Make way for the new improved me – fully available in about another 6 weeks but a trial version out now!!